I AM ALIVE SO I WILL LIVE

How many times have I heard "Tomorrow is not promised"

I'm going

But what if you become ill?

Then i will be ill there instead of being ill here.

But what about...

I'm going. Look maybe when i walk outta here to get in my car and leave, something will happen to keep me here. Will you be happy then?

Don't be so maudlin.

Im not. you are. you want me to stay home and be careful. walk softly. take my meds drink chicken soup and "here put this crocheted afghan that my great great grandma made around your shoulders, pull up a rocking chair look at Judge Judy and The Price is Right while you're waiting to die." You want to kill me.

How can you say that! I love you! I care about You!

I know you do my darling. I know you do. But your hovering makes me more ill. it makes me want to go to my room lock the door make a fake body out of the pillows, cover it up, sneak out the window. climb down the mulberry tree and run away...... you dont even want to make love to me anymore.

I'm afraid i will hurt you.

I know. I'm going. If you keep trying to take away my peace i will go somewhere else to die. You cannot stop the inevitable my love. I love you. Loving you is a part of me that will never die. You know how I think. You know I am not afraid of what is to be. I will be back before it happens. I will be back and I will crawl into the bed and you can pull those hot covers up under my chin and you can spoon feed me that nasty ass chicken soup while we talk about the time we met under the pear tree and made love right then and there in the dark...but until then I am going to live because I am alive!

But... what about me?